to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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