Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Your topless pictures make me question reality
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
