I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize