I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
