I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
