it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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