Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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