I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
