my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
