1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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