i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
