Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
