you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
