Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ridemycock hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.

Fav 13 2181 2979
share tweet
(262): View more from Wisconsin

My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...

Fav 54 4730 2075
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home

Fav 8 4104 1410
share tweet
(806): View more from Texas

He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out

Fav 4 2307 1135
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.

Fav 5 2968 1043
share tweet
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....

Fav 6 2738 874
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.

Fav 18 2982 985
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.

Fav 2 642 460
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(540): View more from Virginia

I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.

Fav 0 66 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT