she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
