the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
