Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
