I've blown a few things in my day
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
