i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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