I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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