TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
