I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
