And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
