no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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