Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
