I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We need to get me chipped asap
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize