you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
