Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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