i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
