; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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