I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
