# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
