Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Randomize
