bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize