i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize