walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
