I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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