please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize