road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
