I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
