its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
