So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
