smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
