dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
