Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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