I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
