She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
be right there i have to get my cape
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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