I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
