we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
