I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
