it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize