Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
