Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
