Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
