I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
