O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
