the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There are leaves in my underwear?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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