last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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