omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
