Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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