If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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