Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
