You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
time to smoke my breakfast
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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