tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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