So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
